For the last year, I have struggles with anxiety.
It has eaten me alive, affected my ability to make decisions, and has made me lose trust in myself and God.
It has paralyzed me.
I have been terrified to make the wrong decisions about my future; marriage, what to do, where to live. I just want to make the right choice, and I am terrified that I will somehow not hear God and not do His will.
But my dear best friend(who also happens to be my boyfriend)has been walking this journey with me every step. Being supportive, giving pep talks, reassuring me, and letting me cry and snot all over him…I am convinced that this relationship must be something of God because the boy has had this extreme patience and hope and love for me. That I will make it through this and God is there.
It is by him that I learned a new thing. Making big decisions starts out by making smaller decisions. When I feel anxious, choosing to pray and lift it up to the LORD. Waking up and choosing to love that boy as long as He gives him to me, and not being afraid of the what ifs. Deciding that feelings can be so fickle and true faith is stepping out toward the LORD and for something you want.
I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. For a while I believed that to be true. But we are not called to be anxious; that is not of God. We are called to walk, to be moving, and to follow Him, trusting in His provision. We can’t always do it by taking one giant step for the future. It is daily, step by step, choosing to love, choosing not to worry, and choosing to live for Him.


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